November 27, 2015

Because It Was All I Could Think About

I take my seat on the worn, red chair with the sliver of sunlight shining on it, and pull my MacBook from my purse. I’ve positioned myself in the fiction section between shelves sixteen and seventeen, somewhere amongst Davis-Downs and Doyle-Evaristo. I can see the covers of Evanovich and Griffin, Grisham and Eugenides; the latter being one of my favorite recent reads.

My love of writing is succeeded only by my love of reading, so it’s no real surprise that I like to settle in here at the library to write down the words swimming in my head. The only thing that would make this better is if I had a coffee in hand, but I drove right past three Starbucks on the way here without it crossing my mind.

I’ll have to do without.

Yesterday my husband told me that he is in awe of the writing that I have done this year. He “doesn’t know how I do it.” Sometimes I’m tempted to agree with him, and find myself wonder how I do it day after day, but then I remember that I simply can’t not.

I’m a bit of a fritter-er. I jump from one thing to the next without much thought, without finishing one project. I used to think that it meant something was wrong with me, but something I read lately – of course, I read it – reminded me that it only means my interests are vast. I want to dip my toes in everything to see if it’s something I could like. A lot of the time it isn’t, and that’s okay; it’s oddly comforting to know that I at least tried.

But sometimes that little dip of my toes isn’t enough, and I want to jump in. For years – most of my childhood and adult life, really – I was simply dipping my toes in when it came to writing. Until this year.

Two thousand and fifteen. I jumped right in, feet first, became fully submerged.

And I don’t think I can ever look back.

Writers are always asked why they want to write. Do they want to be famous? Are they in it for the money? Maybe they want to write that book that they wish existed. Maybe they’re inspired by all the reading they do.

I’m not sure where I fit in just yet. Right now, I’m just doing it for the love of the game. Maybe one day, years from now, I’ll settle in here at the library again; maybe I’ll look for the same spot, between shelves sixteen and seventeen, running my fingers along the cool, black shelving until finding what I came for: Del, Rachel.

Wouldn’t that be a lovely sight?

Wouldn’t that be a lovely feeling?

Wouldn’t that just make all the hard work worth it? The late nights, the cramped hands, the long ago out of control coffee consumption, the missed outings with friends; wouldn’t it all be justified?

I like to think so.

And that’s why I keep writing, coffee or no coffee.
November 23, 2015

Project Life 2015 | September

To say that I'm behind in sharing my spreads would be an understatement, but I'm finally catching up. Here is September, which oddly seems so long ago.

November 4, 2015

words to live by

"We need to move away from this constant need of coming across as calm, cool and collected. We weren’t built to be calm, cool, and collected. If we were, it wouldn’t feel so exhausted all the time. It would, you know, come naturally to us. You know what comes naturally to human beings though? Being open, being messy, being raw, being unfiltered, having lots of feelings. Why should we have to stifle our true nature? Let’s go after the things we want, let’s love each other brutally and honestly, and not worry about the consequences. Let’s release the feelings inside of us and let them land somewhere special. Otherwise, we might have a lifetime of longing in front of us."
—Ryan O’Connell
October 1, 2015

Currently (October)

Outside:  we're finally turning the page on all this triple digit weather and I couldn't be happier. While summer does bring about a feeling of freedom that you don't experience at any other time, I also find the season stifling. I'm ready for fall. My favorite. I've already started sorting through my sweaters and trying to decide what else - if anything - I need for the upcoming season.

Inside:  I'm filling all the spaces with books and words and love and memories.

Hoping:   that people will continue to read my novella and find even an ounce of comfort in it, be intrigued by it, or simply enjoy it. As Ksenia Anske said, "Are you willing to strip in public? Are you willing to show all that you are and were and will be? Because your books are your guts on paper, nothing more." I know what she means.

Wanting:   more time. To do it all. To read and write and play with my son and relax with my husband. I'm busier than I can ever remember being and it is beginning to weigh on me. I don't fall asleep as quickly as I used to and I wake with a swarm of thoughts in my head that won't leave me alone until I climb out of bed in the darkness.

Eating:   so little. With the business and stress comes a decreased appetite. It always happens.

Listening:   to Elizabeth Gilbert's new podcast, Magic Lessons, which continues to fill up my tank with each and every episode. It's well worth a listen.

Remembering:   the sense of calm that washed over me as I got off the plane in Nashville last week. Surrounded by greenery and music and newness... I felt more alive than I had in months.

Writing:   Fixing Tanner, the sequel to Finding Lily. This one has been moving slower, taking its time. But I'm feeling okay about that as I can already feel myself growing and learning as a writer. Finding Lily was my baby, but this one... this book has my heart.
September 23, 2015
"All I know for certain is that this is how I want to spend my life - collaborating to the best of my ability with forces of inspiration that I can neither see, nor prove, nor command, nor understand.

It's a strange line of work, admittedly.

I cannot think of a better way to pass my days."

- Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic
September 22, 2015

Finding Lily Book Release

Let me just begin by saying that I can't believe this day is here. My contemporary romance novella, Finding Lily, is now officially for sale on Amazon!

The Synopsis:

Lily Gardner thought she'd found her soul mate when she met and married the handsome and well-off Thomas Gardner. But six years later, with a two-year-old in tow, she finds herself wading through the messy waters of divorce, and crying herself to sleep at night wondering if she's lost her chance at love... and herself in the process. When she's assigned the task of working with Nathan Trainor to reel in a popular author who is seeking new representation, she must put her troubles aside and do whatever it takes to get the job done.

At once touching and hopeful, FINDING LILY captures what it feels like to be given a second chance at life... and love.


You can purchase the ebook here and the paperback copy is also available. If you're interested in a signed copy, let me know: I may sell them in my etsy shop.

Cheers everyone, and thank you for joining me on this journey. It's about to get really interesting.
September 15, 2015

Project Life 2015 | August (including a glance at #weekinthelife)

I have to tell you that I'm currently two weeks behind in my 2015 album and it is really rubbing me the wrong way. There was a part of me that wanted to panic, but then I decided that I'm simply going to combine the two weeks into one spread, especially since they weren't the most photo-heavy weeks. Done is better than perfect, friends. Remember that one.

Now, read on to see my August pages!

September 12, 2015
"I think of writing simply in terms of pleasure. It's the most important thing in my life: making things. Much as I love my husband and children, I love them only because I am the person who makes these things. And because that person does that all the time, that person is able to love all these people."
- A.S. Byatt